誠意和重視
(警告: 以下是一篇駡人的心底話, 對號入座會引起不安, 有關人等請見諒, 莫怪小妹有話直說, 已有心理準備失去4段關係......。)這星期3次雷同的遭遇, 4個最要好的人, 令我對人際關係越來越灰心。
一天, 約好了一個常說想見我的朋友A三天後食lunch。
前一天致電確定時, 卻遭到淡然的拒絶, 原因居然是他打算改約第二個......下? 實在莫明奇妙......OK, 你約第二個不打緊, 問題是, 何解不早點通知聲?
同一天, 約了一個常說掛念我的朋友B食dinner。由於這個朋友有數不清的bad records, 所以我不厭其煩地時常update他。
6小時前致電確定, ok。
2小時前致電確定時間地點, ok。
我帶著新鮮出爐的蛋糕仔, 準時從家中趕到赴會地點。 過了約定時間15分鐘, 朋友還未出現, 心想可能他正在趕路中。於是致電問他, 怎知他告訴我他不能來。......下? 又明知故犯? 你不能來為何不通知我?
前天, 拿到了兩張夢寐以求的《The Sound of Music》免費飛, 興奮得不得了。於是約了朋友C今天下午一同去看。朋友C提議之前一起食lunch, 由於我想他睡多一點, 故提議在家吃完才出來, 1:45p.m.在灣仔等。到了1:30p.m. 我致電給他, 怎知他還未起床......我只想開開心心來個約會, 為何每次都好像很艱難似的? 於是一套開心的音樂劇, 卻令我哭了。
失望, 原因不是約會告吹, 而是3個人同樣地, 明明不守約卻理直氣壯, 一聲對不起也沒有。自問自己也放過不少飛機, 但每次都會深感歉意, 想辦法補救; 亦會盡快通知對方, 以免破壞了別人的schedule。
爽約, 我不介意, 但可以通知聲嘛?
睡過頭, 我不介意, 但可以表示一點歉意嘛?
一兩次, 我不介意, 但常第三四五六七八九十...甚至數十次也是如此時, 我可是會累的!
一個是如此, 我不介意。第二個、第三個......朋友, 你們被我的諒解寵壞了嗎? 我每次的體諒和珍惜, 換來了甚麼?????
那邊廂, 朋友D, 前幾天為失戀要生要死, 我連連安慰, 不時致電問候他。今晚輪到自己心很灰, 漫無目的地乘著地鐵, 不停流淚。於是致電給朋友D, 怎知他又已無聲無息地和女友復合, 並趕著去拍拖, 懶理在聽筒哭著的我。關心我的話, 拍完拖也可以問候一下我吧? 真的叫我見識到什麼是終極的重色輕友......
哈.....誰人說男人很難放低一段感情, 我可以斗膽的說, 我認識的每一個男性朋友, 每當他們找到了另一個時, 真的可以完完全全地忘了之前的女友, 一點留戀也沒有......
諷刺的是, 這4個朋友都開口埋口說多麼重視我, 但卻又不停自打嘴巴。
我是否太好「恰」??
我氣憤, 我悲傷, 是因為我很重視你們
可是, 我得去學曉, 這不值得
不敢恭維了, 還是一個人最好...
posted by Hoiman @ 4:03 AM
8 Comments:
There was a theory that "Friendship can only maintain when you still have values (use) to the other side. Friend basically is about how they can use each other. The moment you lose use, friend no more"
However, there are always the other side. Here is a story about friend:
------
This guy is walking down a street, when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out.
A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up "Hey doc! Can you help me out?" The doctor writes him a prescription, throws it down the hole and moves on.
Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest write out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
Then a friend walks by. "Hey, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jump in the hole! Our guy says "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here!" and the friend says "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
------
I tend to agree the second version. Friendship should be "unconditional" (to help each other), and you should be able to share good time and bad time with them.
So no need to be 灰心, identify who is your true best friend, and learn how to treasure your friendship with them. Alone is not a solution because you will only end up surrounded by more sadness.
Cheer up, you are too "gray" for your age.
Finally, a song for you. One of my fav.:
http://www.loglar.com/song.php?id=7
oh..ur frds seems so strange....It was bad experience for u to be being flied for 3 times in such short period. and it is so strange that they seems no sense of sorry for it ad wont tell u in advance..I really cant understand the reason underneath as being a normal friend.
I agree the story...friends are always in ur side. I got few best friends too. Being friends we always have to understand each other difficulties and give concern to each other......Maybe they r not ur best friend...and just a very NORMAL friend that will spare their free time with u only.
Once thing I want to mention is that SAYING SOMETHING IS MEANINGLESS(in ur case someone always said missing u but then dont come).....I always beleive the outcome and what he/she really has done. time could always prove.
Just try to understand the reason why they r so strange....and try to identify who r ur friends too....take it easy.....find someone who r reliable and real........(i.e. my best friends always cant spend time with me and we seldom have meeting...may be just few times per yr)...
Oh so early to get up today...I cant sleep well ...dont know whey she has come to my thought again periodically althought it has been 3 yrs.
actually what u said that guys will forget their ex-gf very soon...actually if they r not too serious on previous love or in the love realtionship in general, they always find a new relationship very soon......they said they r so serious..but then being hurt or hurt other again....never ending.....
if u r serious in a relationship..u cant forget the past and u cant statt another relationship so soon.....but surely maybe one day u have got a right one and u can earse the part of the memory...but u have to go on without her...or go on with ur life with someone else that love u too....
sigh......
maybe one day u r not writing here...mean u have resolved ur problem(or maybe u will do the same even u got no problem too)......it is the same for me too..hehe....
take a good rest in weekend!
PS:
wow a bit excited cos my trip will come soon....but i have some difficult in arrangement of the trip..cos my frd dont want to book hotel..finally just booked 3 days..he want cheaper hotels there and think he can find it.....but i guess the turn out will be more expensive and just could find a hotel in far away area and with worse condition.
.i am a very well-planned person...and it will be golden week there.....I always work in most economic and efficent stuff in both time and money...but with other..always cant work....
B.
Fish@ocean,
Thanks for your comfort...actually I don't expect they show care and love to me, what I want is just a basic thing - respect.
I don't care whether they are able to pull me out from the hole or not, but at least just stop and grant me a sympathetic look...am I too greedy?
Ironically, they often tell you that you are deep in their mind...
and indeed they are my closest friends. You know one of them too. Otherwise, I don't care.
Maybe I am too grey. I would not like that if all these are not happened in consecutive days...anyway, I just wanted to express my discontent at this moment of time...I still treasure them, just to reserve their rights to break off relationship with me.
----------------------------------
B,
Thanks for sharing. I have many other good friends in my mind even we seldom meet too. Maybe I just expect too much from these 4 guys specifically. It's very true that you forget to value the relationship when you possess it. Once you find that you lose it, you regret.
One point to note, haven't written here doesn't mean that the problem has been resolved...or doesn't exist. These are my accumulated feeling in these few years. Just "explode" yesterday... haha...
So great that you will go for a trip again...do enjoy your time!
Actually, i did not particulary refer to this case(ur frds). Mabye one day u dont come so often to this website for ur diary.....mean u r getting much happy in general. i dont know if u will be used to write this in future.......just i guess someday if u really wont come here...mean something have changed in ur life la...
understand?
B.
thx for ur greeting for my trip...wow it is cheap..the air ticket to beijing is just about 1200$..but the hotel is more expensive..about 500$ per night near the city centre(actually it is comparatively cheap in this are and in teh golden week)..but my friend dont want to book more days...now just booked 3days la...maybe we have to live in poor hotel in bad location with higher cost later..sigh...>_< no way la, he doesnt listen to me...( i always a well-planned perosn and i have sought some information on the situation of hotels on net la..so i know the situation now)
B.
then, from your words, it seems that I just wrote unhappy things here...but it's not the case wor! For most of the time, when you noticed that I seldom updated my blog, that was the time that I felt too upset to write anything indeed.
and in fact I really wanted to close this blog after writing this entry yesterday. But it doesn't worth.
But who knows? This blog must have to be ended in one day.
dear hoiman,
I am sorry that i have made u misunderstand la..i aplogise for it la...
i dont mean that u just write unhappy stuffs here and I DONT mean it is not the case.
What I meant is that at one day, maybe something have changed in ur life or u feel much much better, u might not write so much here la.......I hope THE DAY will come soon - I mean that u feel so HAPPY again all the time. but it is so welcome that u will still come here to write so often and share even the DAY have come. so I carry no negative meaning in my previous message.
Remember what i said just yesterday...sometime u might listen something that u feel not too good and against u. but when u think clearly..maybe someone just said it for good will and want to help u.
anway, i am sorry for my poor english that has made u misunderstand la.
B.
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